


The Muse

by skamthemuse



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Missing Persons, Multi, Multi-media, Mystery, Suspense, skamthemuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-29 14:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13928961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skamthemuse/pseuds/skamthemuse
Summary: What happens when those we love just disappear?When Isak and Jonas go missing, it's up to their friends to find out what happened. But they soon realize that this is bigger than just the two boys, and sometimes it's the events of the past that can shape and disturb the present. Can they find them before it's too late?Coupled with the photos, videos and messages on skamthemuse.tumblr.com. you can help them in their search. You have a say. Your voices matter. Welcome to Skam: The Muse.





	1. The Premiere

Chapter 1: The Premiere

 

“Hey Baby, I just wanted to say- _Shut up bro!_ Not you, Jonas was just- _I know I missed the turn, we’re fucking turning_ \- Anyway, I wanted to say good luck tonight at the premiere and I can’t wait to get home. Sorry I can’t be there, but we’ll do a private screening later- _Stop laughing at me. Yeah yeah, eyes on the road. No, I’m not going to wreck Mahdi’s new car. No way! I’m a great driver. Shit! What was that?_ Even I’ve got to—” _Click._

            _“You have no new messages. To replay your messages, press one. To see the time and date—”_

***

_Come on. Pick up Isak._

“You’ve reached Isak… or Even’s second voicemail because he never answers his own. Leave a message and maybe we’ll get back to you.”

_Shit._

            “Dude, you okay?” Even looked up to see the whole Hei Briskeby team staring at him. He had almost forgot he wasn’t the only one in the limo. It wasn’t as if Elias, Yousef, Mikael, Adam and Mutta were the quietest people in the world, but, when it came to Isak, it was as if they were the only two people on the planet. Everything else was just the backtrack to their own home movie.

From his spot next to Even, Elias moved a little closer to try and get a look at Even’s phone screen. He was seconds short, as the screen snapped back to black. No need to worry everyone else on their big night.

Even put on the smile he was used to wearing from years of faking it through his worst days. It probably wasn’t important. Maybe they’d blown a tire or missed another sign. It was better Isak didn’t answer while he was driving. Safer even. Things were totally fine. _Just keep telling yourself that, Even._

            “Yeah, I’m fine.” It wasn’t like he could turn back and head home. Thousands of people were waiting for him to show up at the big premier of his second picture _Minutt for Minutt._ After his first critically acclaimed film, _The Boy Who Couldn’t Hold His Breath Underwater_ , the world was waiting to see what director Even Bech Næsheim had in store. Partnered with his old friends’ film company, Hei Briskeby, named after their old YouTube channel, the world was anticipating another poignant love story for everyone to spend the next half a year fawning over. It was a lot of pressure to live up to. It was moments like this where he needed Isak to be there telling him to breathe. That Even wasn’t alone.

It wasn’t that Isak hadn’t wanted to be there. He had, very much so. It had been Even that told him to go and pick up Jonas Vasquez from Sweden. Jonas had been detained there for just over a month after a protest gone wrong in Stockholm. This wasn’t the first time that something like this had happened to their friend, but it was the longest. After high school, Jonas had become more vocal about his political opinions, mostly about capitalism and the distribution of wealth. He’d joined multiple protest groups and pushed for change. Some people didn’t like that. Personally, Even though his efforts were admirable. So today, Even had figured Jonas probably needed a friend more than he needed his boyfriend. Now, he was second guessing that judgement.

            Even was jolted once again out of his thoughts by Mikael loudly announcing to the group that the limo had arrived at the theater. Mikael’s face was pushed up so far against the car window that he almost fell out as the chauffer opened the door for them. Yousef caught his arm as he teetered forward, preventing a scene. Yousef was good for that. Level headed and outwardly calm. His friends knew that he was really a nervous kid at heart, but no one could tell by just looking at him. It’s what made him so likeable.

It wasn’t long after the group exited the vehicle that Even put the phone call in the back of his mind. As soon as their feet hit the red carpet, flashing lights of cameras were in their faces and microphones from reporters were being shoved in their faces. It took all of Even’s brain power to try and keep the words coming at him straight. He didn’t have time to think about anything else.

            “Mr. Bech Næsheim, how will you top the success of your first film?”

            “Over here! Who are you wearing tonight?”

            “Even! There’s rumours going around that you will be turning that young journalist, Noora Sætre’s life story into a movie. Can you confirm or deny?”

            “Is it true that this film is based on your own life?”

            Even felt a gentle arm on his shoulder, whisking him away from the chaos. “We’ve got to keep moving. Excuse us.” Yousef had just saved him from the bombardment of the press simply by flashing a smile. Just in time too because Even was beginning to feel like he was drowning there.

            As the pair walked in brisk strides, Yousef leaned over and asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

            Even nodded, raising his eyebrows slightly in emphasis, but it was obvious Yousef wasn’t buying it. Despite this, he didn’t say anything more on the subject. Yousef waited in silence for Even to decide to talk to him about it.

            “I got a weird voicemail from Isak,” Even replied after a beat between them. He had to talk about it. He needed someone else to assure him he was over-thinking everything.

            “How weird?”  

            “It just ended, like, in a rush. And now I can’t get a hold of him. It’s been four hours since he called and I haven’t heard anything.”

            Even couldn’t read Yousef’s expression. “Did you try calling Jonas?” Yousef asked.

            Even shook his head. He hadn’t thought about that. But he couldn’t do it here. He had to get inside. As if Yousef was reading Even’s mind, he nodded towards the door. “The showing starts in twenty minutes anyway. Let’s go.”

            Yousef and Even stayed towards the middle of the carpet, trying to avoid fans and microphones being shoved in their faces. _Just another twenty feet to go. You can do this Even. You can-_

            “We’ve got to get through!”

            “You and all the rest of the fans here.”

            “Look, We’re not _just_ fans, okay?”

            “I know you. You’re that little reporter who runs that shitty gossip blog!”

            “Fuck you!”

            “Magnus, focus!”

            “No way, dude! He— Fine! Even!”

            “Even, it’s Mahdi and Magnus. We need to talk!”

            Even turned to see Mahdi Disi and Magnus Fossbakken struggling to get past a security guard, who was doing everything in his power to prevent them from stepping foot onto the red carpet. _Weird_. They should have been at Mahdi’s restaurant waiting for Isak and Jonas. All four of them were supposed to be at the after-party later that night.

Even rushed over to the stanchion and leaned around the guard. “It’s okay. They’re with me,” he said. After a moment of contemplation, the security guard stepped aside. Mahdi and Magnus slipped under the rope.

“Where are Isak and Jonas?” Even asked.

Mahdi and Magnus looked over at each other, then back at Even. It was as if practiced. Like they’d been planning on how to say whatever they had come to say the whole way there. Even’s stomach sank.

If Magnus and Mahdi were about to get to a point, or say anything at all, they didn’t have a chance. The pair was cut short by Yousef, Elias, Mikael, Mutta and Adam crowding around them. Now everyone was watching them, wanting to know what was going on in the middle of the red carpet.

“Hey boys! What’s with the sad faces? It’s a party!” Mutta shouted, waving at a few fans nearby, causing the crowd to cheer back at him.

“Where are Isak and Jonas?” Adam asked.

Magnus leaned in, lowering his voice as low as he couple while still being heard through the crowd, “They never got here. Neither of them were answering texts or calls. And then,” Magnus looked down at the ground, “Mahdi got a call from the police.”

“They found my car abandoned on the road an hour from here,” Mahdi told Even.  

“So maybe they ran out of gas?” Mikael suggested.

“Or had like any car trouble?” Elias added.

Magnus nudged Mahdi, who looked over at him. The two seemed to be in a silent conversation for a moment, with Magnus making gestures at Mahdi, who just shook his head in response. Magnus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He then pulled Even away from the rest of the group.

“We wanted to tell you this later but, shit, Even, I don’t know if it’s something to worry about but, you need to know and—”

“Magnus, just say it.” The world was spinning too fast for Even now. He closed his eyes to try and steady himself, the sound of his heart only seeming to ring in his ear louder.

“The keys were still in the car.”

“What?”

“They were still in the car. It was still running. All of their stuff was still in it… just not… them.” Magnus moved to hug Even, as if to tell him things were going to be okay, but Even brushed past him. Magnus stood dumbfounded as Even moved like a zombie away from the theater, towards the street. Even needed answers. He needed someone to know the answers.

“Even! Where are you going?” Elias called after him.

“I’ve got to find them.” The crowd had gone quiet, with whispered murmurs between them. It was obvious now to everyone in attendance that something wasn’t right with the boys on the red carpet.

“Wait!” Elias looked over at Yousef. Yousef was already making a move to prevent more of a scene.

Yousef moved in front of Even, grabbing him by the shoulders. “You can’t go that way. We’ve got to go inside and call a car.”

“We don’t have time,” Even tried to shrug Yousef off, but it only caused Yousef to hold on tighter.

“We’ll call this whole thing off and go with you but if you walk away like this, everyone will start asking questions and making up solutions that only cause more problems.”

“For all we know they got out to stretch their legs and forgot to take the keys. Adam does it all the time” Elias tried to offer as he walked over to the pair, ignoring Adam’s objections from behind them.

“Come on,” Yousef said as he let go of Even. Elias put his arm around the Even and nodded to the rest of the boys to follow. Even as the cameras flashed, and people called their name, all Even could hear was Isak’s voice in his head; how Isak’s voice had cut off mid sentence, the joking tone halted between him and Jonas. And now, Isak was gone.

 

           

 


	2. Newsflash

** Chapter 2: Newsflash **

“Police are asking the public for any information in a missing persons case. Isak Valtersen and Jonas Vasquez were believed to be traveling back from Sweden when their vehicle was found abandoned between—”

               “Linn turn that off!”

               “I was watching—”

               “Don’t be fucking rude, Linn. We have a guest.” Eskild took the remote from his roommate’s hand and turned off the television. For a moment, it looked as if Linn would continue the argument. Instead, Linn took her blanket off of the couch, wrapped it around her shoulders, and slunk off to her room.

               Eskild turned his head towards Noora’s room, half hoping that his yelling had got Even out of bed. It had been wishful thinking. Even had been at their place for the past three days and since the moment that Eskild had got the other man through the door and into bed, Even hadn’t moved much. Eskild was starting to really worry about him. It wasn’t just that Even was mostly staying in bed, it was that Eskild had to work to get Even to eat anything. On top of that, Eskild was pretty sure that Even had stopped taking his medication.

               It wasn’t like Eskild could blame him. He knew the circumstances. It was why he had been the one to insist that Even stay at the collective while Noora was in London working on an article about ‘whether female political leaders in Britain had made significant feminist advances to the political climate of the country in the past 20 years.’ But this time, it wasn’t like when Even was in high school. There was no laughter coming from Linn and Even playing video games or Yahtzee in the living room. This time there was no Isak to write reports to. There was no Isak at all. That was the problem.

               The release of Even’s film had been put on an indefinite hold. Critics who had been given advanced screenings were asked to hold their reviews out of respect. People were buzzing on social media and in every newspaper had either Even or Isak’s face on it. This was one case were there was such a thing as bad press. It wasn’t about the fact that two young men were missing. It was about the fact that one of these boys was preventing the release of one of the year’s most anticipated films.

               From what Eskild had got out of Magnus, when he came to check up on Even, was that the police had found the car with the keys inside. There were no abnormal prints and all of their things were still in the vehicle. It had been five days and no one had heard anything from either of the boys and the police had no leads. It was as if they had just vanished.

               Magnus hadn’t only been a help for information. He’d been the only one able to get Even to get up, even if only for an hour. They had taken a walk outside while Eskild had gone to meet some clients. Eskild was lucky that he ran his own relationship advising clinic so that he was able to spend most of his time at home, but someone did have to pay for the apartment. Linn worked from home too but Eskild could tell she was shaken up by Isak’s disappearance, like everyone else that knew him. She didn’t show it outwardly, but Linn had been acting funny the past few days too. Well, funny by Linn standards. It wasn’t that Eskild felt nothing about it. He was terrified. When no one was looking he would hide in a bathroom and cry while the shower was running, but with Noora out of town, he had to be the strong one. _Noora come back, please!_

As if answering his silent cries for help, the sound of a key turning the lock could be heard throughout the silent apartment and the door swung open. Noora entered looking tired and a little frazzled. Maybe he was going to have to play the grown-up for a little while longer.

               “Hey,” Eskild whisper-called over to her, putting on a smile. That was the first thing that tipped Noora off. They were never quiet in the collective. Linn would sleep through anything and, even when Noora was sleeping, Eskild didn’t seem to mind waking her to the sound of his voice three rooms away.

               “Hi?” Noora said, setting down her bag.

               “What’s with that greeting?” Eskild asked walking over to her. “Didn’t you miss me?” He pulled her into a hug. It was another tip off. It wasn’t that Eskild didn’t usually hug her, but this hug seemed heavy. Too serious to mean “welcome home roomie.”

               “Eskild, I was only gone a week!” Noora said, breaking away. Her red lipstick was smudged across his right arm. He didn’t notice. “Look, I’ve got to get ready for my meeting with Even in a couple hours. I tried texting him to see if he wanted to move the time back but he never replied. I’m assuming we’re still meeting at the same time then.”

               That confirmed two things for Eskild. The first was that Even was avoiding work or not bothering to check his phone, and two, that Noora didn’t yet know about the ongoing incident. He wasn’t sure how to tell her; however, he had to tell her soon because Noora was rapidly approaching her room.

               “Stop!” Eskild shouted impulsively, causing Noora to halt abruptly and turn back to face him.

               “I told you. I’ve got to get ready for this meeting, even if it is just with Even.”

               “You can’t go in there!”

               “Why? Have you rented my room out again while I was gone?” Noora crossed her arms. Eskild remained silent for a moment. “Eskild!”

               “Even’s in there. Sleeping, I think,” Eskild admitted.

               “Why is Even sleeping in my room?”

               “Okay, maybe you should sit down first,” Eskild said. “Do you want a cup of tea or—”

               “Eskild!”

               “Isak and Jonas are missing.”

               “What?”

               Eskild reached over to the couch and grabbed the remote. He turned back on the TV. Isak and Jonas’ faces were being displayed as the newscaster relayed the details once again. It was all they had been playing today. You couldn’t go three minutes without hearing the same thing. In fact, it was the exact same story he’d told Linn to turn off. No new details or facts. Maybe that was the real reason he hadn’t wanted to hear it earlier. Not to spare Even, but to spare himself from the sinking feeling that what they were saying now was all the information they were ever going to have.

               “Why didn’t you call me?” Noora asked, eyes not leaving the screen. She couldn’t believe what she was watching. This didn’t happen to people she knew. This happened to people whose lives she had never witnessed, whose names she only learnt after the disappearance had taken place.

               “What would I have said to you? Hey Noora, how’s London? Oh, by the way, Isak’s missing so can you come solve this mystery Nancy Drew style?”

               “Yes,” Noora replied, not a drop of sarcasm in her voice. “Eskild, that is exactly what you’re supposed to say to me! We can’t just sit here.”

“Great!” Eskild clapped his hands together, “because you can’t have your room back until you guys find him.”

               “Eskild!”

               Eskild walked off towards Noora’s room, “Sorry can’t hear you. Checking on Even. Love you!”

               Noora watched her roommate hurry out of the room. She took a deep breath and counted to three in her head. While she loved Eskild, some days it was a chore to live with him. She couldn’t really be mad though.

_Poor Even_. Noora had known Isak for the majority of her teenage life. He’d taken her room for half a year and Even had become a regular visitor to the collective. Even and her had been working together for four months now on trying to get a movie made about the autobiography she was about to release. She was finally going to tell all about events she didn’t want to remember in high school because she wanted other girls like her to know they weren’t alone. As soon as she had told Even one night when they were drunk after finishing an interview she had done with him for a feminist magazine, she’d spilled her guts out to him and they’d found a new understanding in each other. So now, maybe more than anyone, she knew the extent which Even was suffering without Isak because she knew that Isak meant more than life itself to him.

               Noora looked back at the TV, watching the faces of the two missing men flash across the screen once again. Without taking her eyes away, she reached into her coat pocket and pulled out her cell phone. Noora looked at it, clicking the first contact on her favourite’s list: Sana Bakkoush. The phone rang twice before Sana answered.

               “What’s up?”

               “Hey, um, have you seen the news today?”

               “No. I just got home from that STEM conference in Japan. Why?”

               “Turn on the TV. Call Eva and Chris. I’m coming over right now.”  

 


	3. Hope

**Chapter 3: Hope**

Eva Mohn was a mess. There was no other way to put it. Ever since she had opened up her Facebook news feed that morning she felt like…. She couldn’t even describe how she felt seeing Jonas and Isak’s faces staring at her. She couldn’t avoid it. Everyone she knew was sharing the story. Every news site was flooded with their faces. Every social media channel was reporting the disappearance of the two young men from Oslo.

At first, when she read it, Eva didn’t believe it was true. She had just talked to Isak just a few days ago. They had Skyped, so he could give her tips for her date with a cute university biology student who she had met at a party last week. A date she was supposed to be going to tonight. Now, she didn’t even have the energy to text him and cancel. She was too numb to even care she was about to stand her first date in eight months up. Her first date since her break up with Jonas.

Her and Jonas had broken up amicably. They had just grown apart. At least, that’s what they had both told themselves. It had started a year after high school when Jonas was in his first year of university. He started joining clubs on campus that were making statements against capitalism or something. Eva couldn’t exactly remember the details. They were supposed to go to a concert with all of her friends and he bailed last minute to go to a rally. That night she had received the first of many phone calls at God knows what time to pick him up from the police station. He had become more radical as the years went on, risking his life to make statements. Eva would stay up worried sick until he either came home or got a call to come bail him out. Then the fighting became. She would scream at him that he wasn’t changing things. He was breaking shit for the sake of breaking laws he didn’t like. He would yell back how she didn’t understand because she didn’t care enough about anything to fight for it. One night she told him he was right, that she didn’t care enough to fight for things anymore and their relationship was one of those things. Then, they had gone their separate ways.

She had seen him once since at Even’s birthday party. They had made small talk about how the weather was abnormally nice that day for February and he had complemented her on her new shoes. She had complained that they were giving her feet massive blisters because they were impossible to break in. She hadn’t worn those shoes again until today.

The walk up to Sana’s today apartment was the longest one she could remember. She was holding her breath, counting every step up to the top. Anything to keep her mind off why she was really going there. Yet, no number of stairs or seconds without air could make her forget that two of the people she cared most about in this world were gone and no one knew why.

Sana opened the door for her before she even got to the top. She must have been waiting anxiously, listening for the sound of footsteps. She looked calm and collected, but there was something off about the expression hidden deep beneath her brown eyes.

Eva slipped past her inside. Noora and Chris were already waiting for her. There was something about seeing them that made her feel again. Those feelings flooded into her consciousness and the tears flooded her eyes. She couldn’t stop herself from breaking down. Eve began to cry.

Chris was the first one to pull Eva into a hug. She remembered the time she had broken down in front of Isak and he had done the same. It just made her cry harder. None of her friends knew how to make it stop. Soon Sana and Noora were holding her. All three of them standing in the hallway, hugging and crying it out.

Sana was the first to step back. She wiped her eyes quickly, regaining her composure. Eva always thought she was the strongest of them. She didn’t know how Sana did it.

Sana motioned towards the kitchen. Chris hesitantly broke off from the hug and followed her there. Noora kept an arm around Eva and the pair joined their companions in the other room. All three girls sat down at the table.

“We have to find them,” Sana was the first to speak.

“The police are trying,” Chris said. “That’s what they keep saying on the news.”

“But they haven’t found any new info,” Noora said.

“Not that’s been released,” Chris added.

Sana shrugged, “Then they haven’t found any.”

Chris looked confused, “How do you know?”

“Think about it,” Sana leaned forward, as if telling them a secret. She didn’t lower her voice but continued, “this is a high-profile case. They are just releasing new today, like seventy-two hours later because they were hoping it would be closed. They don’t have any more info so now they’re asking the public.”

“What do they have then?” Chris asked.

“Wasn’t your brother there when Even found out?” Noora asked Sana.

Sana nodded, “I think so. I tried texting him after you called. He said that we could talk about it later. He hasn’t been here since I got him.” Sana made a face, “Come to think of it, Yousef was supposed to pick me up from the airport, but he called me and asked if I could get a cab instead. I tried to ask him why, but he said he had to go. I think I heard Mikael and Adam arguing about where to turn in the background.”

Chris nodded, not sure how to respond to that, or whether or not it was relevant. Sensing the conversation lull, Noora took her turn in answering, “According to report they have Isak’s car and–”

“It’s not Isak’s car,” Eva said quietly, stopping the blonde. All heads turned towards her.

“What?” Sana asked. This seemed to be news to everyone else. She had thought it was common knowledge. Then again, the reports she had seen had only showed the vehicle at the side of the road. Yet, she had known just by looking at it.

“It wasn’t Isak’s car,” Eva repeated, a little louder this time. Isak backed his car into a tree last week by accident while dealing with a drunk Magnus. He had told her when she had talked to him. “It’s Mahdi’s.”

“Are you sure?”

Eva nodded, “Isak told me he was taking Mahdi’s car.”

“Do you think,” Chris said, “that maybe the people who took them were looking for Mahdi?”

“Why would they be looking for Mahdi?” Noora asked.

“I don’t know. He makes damn good waffles. Maybe they wanted his secret recipe?”

“Waffles?” Sana asked, raising an eyebrow at Chris.

“Yeah, he just opened that waffle place! Didn’t you guys know? Your tenth one is free!” Chris exclaimed, a little too excited under the circumstances. The other three girls looked at each other. If Chris was right, then they may be able to get a lead on what happened to their friend.

Sana stood up quickly, “I’ll drive.” The other three girls stood and the four of them walked out towards the door. They didn’t know if going to see Mahdi would get them anywhere, but it was a start. Right now, a direction was all they really needed. Something to hold on to. _Hope._


	4. Straight From the Cat's Tongue

**Chapter 4: Straight from the Cat's Tongue**

_How are you supposed to react when two of your best friends vanish and no one will tell you anything? You keep saying they have to be okay and you have to believe it but as the hours go by, it’s getting harder and harder to believe. I feel like I shouldn’t even be writing this to you, but I know you want an update since I haven’t posted in the few days. This is officially my notice of hiatus. I love you, my readers, so much but I can’t talk about who wore what or interview any guests right now. I’m sorry. This isn’t goodbye forever. It’s just goodbye for now._

_Love,_

_M.F._

_***_

              Magnus read his post over for the hundredth time. The view count kept going up and the comments section was flooded, but for once he could care less about how popular his blog was. His heart wasn’t in it. It wasn’t even into the waffle sitting in front of him, that Mahdi had made twenty minutes ago, now soggy under the deflated whipped cream. He wasn’t sure if Mahdi had actually expected him to eat it or just needed someone to make one for. Ever since their friends had gone missing he’d started a buy one, get one free promotion just so he would never have to stop working.

              Up until now, Magnus hadn’t shown any sign less than hope. He had to pretend to be strong every time he went to check on Even. He couldn’t imagine what Even felt like. He wasn’t just missing a friend, but the love of his life. Magnus knew it would be hard for anyone. He felt obliged to be the friend that went over there to check on the other man. He wanted to make sure that Even was still taking his medication and that things weren’t getting too bad. He knew what his mother had been like when her sister passed away a couple years back and he didn’t want to see his friend spiral in the same way.  _Isak would want Even to be okay._

              Thinking about Isak and Even’s epic love story made him miss Vilde. It had been three years now. He should have been over it. That explosive night shouldn’t have mattered anymore. But it did. It still did to him. They had both said things and he’d tried to help her, but she had pushed him away. The fact that he was cheating on him wasn’t the biggest shock it was that—

              “Mahdi!” Magnus snapped out of his thoughts as he heard a familiar voice echo through the empty restaurant. He turned to see Sana Bakkoush, standing in all her glory at the door. Behind her were Eva, Chris and Noora. They looked like Charlies Angels, all together, beautiful and always ready to kick ass. His stomach sank. The absence of their fifth member made the whole scene feel off. Maybe that’s what made everything feel even more serious to him.

              Mahdi walked around the counter to see the four girls. “Noora, Sana, Chris and Eva? What are you all doing here? Did you come for the special?”

              Chris nodded, prompting Noora to nudge her as she shook her head. Sana stood tall. She didn’t waste any time to get to her point, “Do you have any enemies you want to tell us about?”

              “What?” Mahdi asked. Magnus was lost now.  _Good. He’s just as confused as I am._

“Isak was in your car,” Sana said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

              “And?”

              “Do you think anyone was looking for you instead?”

              Mahdi was taken aback by this statement. Magnus couldn’t say he had expected it either. He hadn’t thought about it that way. Mahdi replied, “No. No, there’s no one that would. I don’t have any- no. There can’t be.”

              “No hell-bent pancake restaurant ready to take out the competition?” Chris offered.

              “No,” Mahdi replied, firmer this time. “I don’t have any enemies.”

              “But does Jonas?” Eva asked, just loud enough for everyone to hear. It was more of a thought escaped her lips that an actual question, but it was more than a fair point.

              “Jonas is a protester. He finds a cause and he won’t stop until everyone’s heard it. There was an anti-capitalist rally in Sweden and it turned into a bit of a riot. He got in an argument with a police officer, so they said he resisted arrest.”

              “There’s a pretty great video of it online,” Magnus added. “Dude isn’t scared of anything.”

              “Do you think he’s made any enemies?” Noora asked.

              “Tons!” Magnus laughed. It was obvious he didn’t understand where Noora was leading this discussion. “’You can’t take a stand without making someone mad,’ that was his motto.”

              “Do you know anyone in particular?” Noora asked.

               “No one that would want to kidnap him if that’s what you’re getting at,” Mahdi said.

              “What about Isak?” Chris asked.

              “No way,” Magnus said. “Sure, he can get angry, but he wouldn’t actually hurt anyone. Not intentionally.”

              “Didn’t he start that fight with your brother’s friends in high school?” Chris asked Sana.

              “Yeah, but there were no hard feelings. Isak’s a pretty good person,” Sana replied.

              “Usually,” Eva said, sitting down at the counter beside Magnus. This caused everyone to turn their head to her.

              “What do you mean?” Magnus asked.

              “In high school, he broke up Jonas and me. When I cheated on Jonas, he told me not to tell him and then told Iben. Then when I confronted him he told me it was because he liked me and-”

              “Wait, he liked you? But I thought…” Magnus was wide eyed, not understanding.

              “Oh for the love of- He liked Jonas!” Sana jumped in, cluing in the blond boy.

              “What?” This was news to Magnus. He never would have guessed. His mind began running to all the times that they all hung out as friends and how he never knew. He almost forgot that they were supposed to be talking about missing people.

              “Focus,” Mahdi said, putting a hand on Magnus’ shoulder. “We’ve all done things we regret but are they enough to want to commit a crime?”

              “What about Even?” Sana asked, wracking her brain.

              “Why,” Magnus got apprehensive. He didn’t know why he was so defensive about it. Maybe he just didn’t want Even to be muddled up in this any more than he was. Of course, it was impossible to separate him from the whole situation. There was also part of the thought that if it was about Even, Magnus could be guilty in all of this.

Magnus had been the first one to introduce Isak to the public after Even’s career took off two years ago. The plan originally had been to keep him out of the news; to let it all be about Even. It was around that time that Magnus had started his blog,  _Straight from the Cat’s Tongue_. He had needed something to do with his life. It had all started when he attended a party that Eskild threw. He had been sitting alone awkwardly, feeling sorry for himself around Vilde’s ex-friends, when Noora sat down beside him. He had asked her about what she had been doing since high school. She had told him all about her new job as a freelance journalist. Something about the way she was talking about her work made something click in Magnus. Unlike her and Jonas, he wasn’t interested in the political statements of it. He couldn’t keep up with policies or laws, but he was interested in the human interest, from the scandals to the who’s who of the gossip. His blog had taken off when he gave them a story no one else couple have: who was the muse for Even Bech Næsheim’s stories? Overnight he had thousands of people flocking to his website, sharing the story with everyone. Everyone wanted to know everything about Isak and Even, or Evak, as they were calling them online. People even went to Isak’s university to try and meet him. Even had to post on social media asking people to stop. He hadn’t realized just how much the world loved a love story, especially the story of the love between his two friends. He had been joking when he said he would like to watch a show about them, but maybe he had been onto something.

              If Isak was missing because he was linked to Even, that was Magnus’ fault. Isak had made his Instagram private before Even became big and Even wasn’t on social media. Magnus had convinced them to share their life with the world. Even if it was just small snippets that Magnus had shared, this was all on him.  

              “Why don’t we all just talk to Even,” Eva suggested.

              “He’s commandeered my room,” Noora said, obviously slightly annoyed about it. “But I’m not sure if Eskild will let us past.”

              Magnus kept quiet for a minute, weighing his options. If he was there, then he could know for sure. He wouldn’t have to directly ask, and he wouldn’t seem suspicious if other people were wondering. After a moment he said, “I told Even I would go see him tomorrow. I was going to take him for coffee to get him out of the house.”

              “We don’t want to ambush him,” Mahdi reasoned.

              “No,” Sana replied, “but we’re running out of time, so I don’t think we have a choice.”

              “Why don’t we throw him a party?” Chris chimed in. Everyone looked at her.

              Eva broke the circle of stares, “that may not be a bad idea. Not a party but like a get-together. To say we all care.”

              “I’ll talk to him,” Magnus said. He didn’t know if Even would want to see anyone right now, but it was worth a try. The police had nothing, so it was up to them.

_Please don’t be my fault._

***

            They were still sitting in Mahdi’s shop two hours after they had decided to throw a get-together. Mahdi has put the closed sign on the shop, but Sana noticed that there hadn’t been any customers in all morning anyway. That was a blessing.

            The group had been trying to craft the perfect plan for talking to Even. No one really felt like party planning right now, but everyone wanted to have their voice heard on what this party should look like. Sana knew they all just wanted control of something, since the universe was making them all feel powerless.

            “Hey Sana! I think your phone is ringing?”

             Sana turned to Eva, whose hand was outstretched, holding Sana’s phone. It was Elias.  _Finally_.

             Sana picked it up, determination and anger in her voice as she said, “Now you call me! What the hell, Elias?”

             “Hey, Sana, before you get mad, I really gotta tell you something. I think we just saw your friend.”

             “What friend?”

             “The ex-one. You know, Vilde.”

             “Wait,” Sana was trying to process. “I’m going to put you around speakerphone.” Sana set her phone down in the middle of the table so the whole group could hear. “Okay, what did you say?”

             “We saw Vilde,” Elias repeated. “But that’s not even the biggest thing we found. God, I don’t know how we’re going to tell Even but—”

             “Tell me what?” The group all turned to door to see none other than Even Bech Næsheim standing there with Eskild.  _Surprise_. Just another way the universe was ruining their plans today.


	5. The Tape

** Chapter 5: The Tape **

_8 hours earlier…_

“Elias your music is shit,” Adam yelled from the back of Yousef’s car, jammed in between Mikael and Mutta. Elias turned it up louder, flipping his friend off as he did so. Yousef sighed loudly and turned it back down, not taking his eyes off the road.

This had been the tone all trip. They were all so close to jumping down each other’s throats it was as if they were in a pitch-black dynamite factory and someone was walking around blindly with a match. None of them had been in a good mood since the premiere. This was probably due to the severe sleep deprivation the Hei Briskeby boys were facing. The Saturday night they had all gone down to the police station with Even. They had been there all night and all they could get was a “we don’t know” and “we’re looking into it” from the officers. On Monday morning they had decided Even wasn’t going home alone. They had all wanted to be with him, arguing over whose house he was going to stay at. Then, Eskild had shown up. He said that Magnus had called him. Eskild let them know that Noora was gone for the next few days and he would be more than happy to have Even stay with them. The boys knew there was no arguing with Eskild on this matter. When Eskild offered his hospitality, there was no saying no.

They had stayed with their friend at the Collective all Sunday night, taking shifts sleeping, but no one saw Even after they got through the front door. He had locked himself in Noora’s room and refused to let anyone else in. Eskild had made it clear that he could deal with the situation alone after Mikael fell asleep, after his thirty-first hour awake, over a bowl of cereal and almost drowned in the milk. From there, the boys gone to Yousef’s house. Since the moment they had walked through Yousef’s door on Monday, they had been trying to piece together what could have happened but the harder they tried, the more implausible things got. The worst part was that no one would tell them anything. And to them, that translated to no one knew anything.

It was around 3am on Tuesday morning when Elias had loudly exclaimed, “Fuck it! This isn’t working!” He hadn’t really known what would work but he knew he had to get out of the house. They couldn’t just sit around waiting for a phone call that would never come.

Yousef had looked at him with empty eyes, defeated as the rest, “Then what do you want to do?”

“Drive,” Elias replied with the first thing that popped into his head. “We go see where exactly they went missing and we find them.”

“The police are—”

 Elias cut Yousef off “The police aren’t doing shit! And we can’t sit around until it’s too late. We have to do something.

No one had argued. No one had the energy to. So, after catching what little sleep they could, the group disembarked on their mission. They had no idea where exactly they were going. They knew the road and that Jonas and Isak had disappeared somewhere between point A and B on a map, but no news coverage had said exactly where. Part of the problem was that the road all looked the same.

“Stop!” Mutta yelled about twenty-six minutes into the trip, startling everyone in the car. Yousef slammed on the breaks. The car behind him narrowly missed crashing into the back of their vehicle. Yousef slunk down slightly as the driver behind sped past, spewing obvious obscenities at him and flipping him off as they went.

“Mutta!” Yousef yelled, turning around. He was giving his best stern dad look. It would have been humorous if they hadn’t almost been part of high-speed collision.

Mutta pointed to a tree beside the road. It looked like all the rest of them, so it took a second to figure out what they were supposed to be looking at. This tree itself wasn’t significant, but the yellow police tape attached to the trunk marked what they were seeking. This was where Isak and Jonas had gone missing.

Yousef pulled over to the side of the road. Everyone got out of the car. The group stood around in silence for a moment. Elias didn’t know what he thought they could find but everything seemed so… normal. As if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. It made Elias sick just thinking about it.

“We’re not going to find anything here,” Adam proclaimed after about ten minutes of the group just standing there. _Like the world’s longest moment of silence_. They had all been thinking it, but he was the only one brave enough to vocalize it.

“But where next?” Mikael asked.

Yousef turned and walked back to the car. As he opened his door, he called around, “There’s a gas station a few kilometers back. If they stopped anywhere before they got here, it would be there. Maybe they saw them.”

With that, they were off again. Connecting the dots on an empty map. Maybe eventually they’d see the full picture.

***

The gas station was busy. Cars were coming and going faster than Elias could keep up with. Unfortunately, it turned out to be faster than the employees could either.

“Sorry boys,” the attendant at the front counter told them after they had explained the situation, “I just don’t remember your friends. I told the police that too. We see a lot of people in here every day.”

“Please just take one more look,” Mikael pleaded, holding up the photo of Isak and Jonas on his phone once more.

Yousef leaned over the counter, “Do you have a security tape we can check?”

“If I did, the cops would already have it,” the attendant continued. “Ours stopped working about a week ago, before your boys came through here. It just shows static. We have a guy coming to fix it tomorrow, but I guess that won’t help you all that much.”

“Not at all actually,” Elias muttered under his breath. Yousef elbowed him gently in the rib.

“Thanks anyway,” Yousef smiled. He guided his disappointed friends towards the door.

Once outside, all the boys headed in the direction of the vehicle, deflated. Except for Yousef. Yousef walked straight to the road adjacent to the gas station. He didn’t stop and wait for them. He just kept walking. The other boys watched him in confusion.

“Where are you going?” Elias asked, jogging to catch up with his best friend.

“Just because the gas station doesn’t have a camera, doesn’t mean someone else around here won’t.”

“You think someone else saw them driving by?”

“I don’t know. But it’s better than turning around and going home with nothing.”

Yousef was right. Turning back home right now would just make everyone more frustrated and upset. They would repeat the cycle they had been on for the last few days of waiting and hoping. The funny thing about hope was that there was only so much of it one had to run on. Elias didn’t want to know what was left after hope, but he knew that they were all soon to find out if they didn’t find some semblance of an answer.

Elias walked, stride by stride with Yousef down the street. Most of the shops weren’t open yet this early in the morning. They were mostly unassuming mom and pop shops. They weren’t the kind for big security systems. Or most of them weren’t. Yousef stopping in front of the exception: _Happily Ever After Wedding Gowns_. It wasn’t much, but there was a little camera hanging from inside the window that faced out onto the street. While it wasn’t open, there was a generic looking young man, around their age, steam cleaning a dress inside.

Yousef knocked on the window of the store. The man looked up. He pointed gestured to the closed sign. Yousef took a step back. Elias stepped in, knocking harder this time. The man opened the door.

“Sorry buddy but we’re closed,” the man said, trying to fake confidence that he obviously didn’t possess. He seemed scared of Yousef and Elias. If Elias had to guess, it was racial prejudice showing its face, based on the way he was looking at them.

 “Come back in two hours,” the man began closing the door. Elias stuck his foot in it, preventing him from doing so. He didn’t have time for this.  

“Look, we’re not here to buy a dress,” Elias said, annoyed.

Yousef explained for his friend, “We think that you can actually help us with a missing persons case.”

“A what?”

Elias pointed to the camera in the window, “The video on that camera may be the last thing to see Isak Valtersen and Jonas Vasquez.”

“I saw them in the paper this morning.”

“Can we please just check.” There was a desperation to Yousef’s question that both boys knew the dress shop man couldn’t ignore.

The man opened the door back up all the way. “Look, the footage from last week is on my laptop at home, but if you want, my fiancé’s there right now. I can get her to show you it. Let me just write you down the address.”

***

Elias and Yousef had gathered their rest of their team and made their way on foot to the apartment complex that the man had written down for them. It wasn’t too far away. The location of the wedding dress shop must have been planned because of the apartment’s location. It couldn’t have been the other way around. It didn’t really seem like the sort of place you would just put a bridal store. _To each their own._

 Once inside the apartment, the boys climbed up to the second floor. They stopped in front of number 204 and knocked on the door. It didn’t take long for a young woman with blonde hair to open it. As soon as Elias saw his face he recognized her. She was someone who was has always made herself hard to forget.

“Vilde?”

***

The boys sat in Vilde’s living room awkwardly. They had come to find answers to one mystery and found themselves solving another. Elias had never known Vilde well. They had chatted back and forth that one time in high school, flirting a little. He’d always thought she was cute. She still was. But she looked a lot more… tired? Yeah, that was the word he would use. _Tired._

Admittedly, he didn’t know much about what had happened between his sister and Vilde. All he really knew is that one moment all the girls were best friends and the next they weren’t. When he had asked Sana about it she just changed the subject. He had asked Even about it once but Even said that he really didn’t know. He knew bits and pieces of gossip from Isak and his other friends, but he couldn’t say any of it was more than just rumours. He also said that what he did know for sure, he couldn’t say, for Magnus’ sake. One thing that was consistent across all the stories that Elias had heard from various people, was that Vilde started drinking a lot more in her senior year. It was getting to dangerous levels. Apparently, alcoholism was something that ran in her family. He remembered Even saying Sarah had helped Vilde get through some of it back before Vilde left. He wondered if she was still drinking.

“Your uh, fiancé seems nice,” Yousef said, trying to alleviate the crushing silence that had a grip on the room.

“Oh, he’s not my fiancé,” Vilde replied quickly. It was almost defensive.

“But he said…”

“He’s asked me a couple times. I’ve never _officially_ said yes. Why put a label on happiness?” _Odd._

“But you two own the dress shop, right?” Yousef continued.

“Oh yeah. Well, it was my idea but it’s under his name. And his money too. He’s an entrepreneur.”

“How did you meet him?”

“I don’t really remember,” Vilde replied, holding a steady smile. It was obvious to the boys that she was lying, and they knew she could tell because she changed the subject, “Why did you come here?” It dawned on Elias that she must not know about Isak and Jonas. If she did she would have put two and two together. Or maybe, if she knew, she would come home to her friends.

“Um, it’s kind of a long story,” he started. _What do I even say._ “Actually,” Elias continued, “it’s about Isak and Jonas.”

“Are they here too?” Vilde looked a little nervous. As if the thought of more people she had known back in her adolescence would see her like this.

“They, uh-” Elias looked over to Yousef. He hated to be the bearer of bad news.

Yousef took the hint, “They’re missing.”

Vilde’s brow furrowed, “Missing?” That obviously hadn’t been what she was expecting. For Elias, it was proof she really hadn’t known.

“Yeah. That,” Elias replied.

“Since when?”

“Friday night,” Yousef replied. “Look, Vilde we think the camera in your shop may have seen them come through here. Then we can pinpoint the exact time it happened. It’s our only lead right now.”

“Why haven’t you told the police?”

“The police haven’t done shit,” Elias said. “It’s been four days and we’ve heard nothing. We don’t have time to wait. Please, Vilde. They were your friends too.”

Vilde stood up and walked into the next room without a word. Elias wasn’t sure for a moment if she was actually intending on helping or running away from answering them. Thankfully, she returned a moment later with the laptop. She set it down in front of them, already on Friday’s video.

“You’ll have to fast-forward to whenever they were here,” Vilde told them. She took a step back but didn’t leave. She was just as interested in what may be on that tape as they were.  

Yousef leaned forward, sliding the video bar on the laptop forward. He looked over at Mutta and asked, “What time did Even say that Isak left that voicemail for him?”

“18:16,” Mutta replied.

“It has to be before then, if their car was found after town,” Adam said.

It took just under half hour to reach town from the spot where they had found the police tape. The footage must be in there somewhere. Yousef found the window of time he was looking for. Then, they sat and watched. And watched. And watched. After twenty minutes, they realized it was a lost cause.

“Maybe they took another road,” Mikael offered.

“No,” Yousef shook his head. They wouldn’t have. “It’s got to be here somewhere.”

“Maybe they called before they came in?” Vilde said, from her spot off to the side. Everyone looked at her. The call sounded like that’s where they ended, but if the abruptness of the call’s end was somehow unrelated….

Yousef slid the time bar forward on the video slowly, watching as the frame went by. “There!” Adam yelled as he did, pin pointing the spot they were looking for. There was Mahdi’s car driving past.

“Zoom in,” Mutta said. Yousef did as he was told. That’s when they saw something no one was expecting. The face that popped up on the screen was blurry, but everyone knew it wasn’t Isak or Jonas. Someone else was in the car with their friends. And that someone knew where Isak and Jonas were. “Who’s that in the driver’s seat?”

***

The drive home was much livelier than the ride back. Everyone was on edge, minds racing. Elias was holding a flash drive in his lap with the only bit of hope they had found since their worlds were turned upside down. He checked his phone for the first time since he had got to Vilde’s house. He had a bunch of missed messages from Sana. He needed to tell someone about what had happened, and Sana seemed like the person to tell. He called her.

“Now you call me! What the hell, Elias?” Sana asked.

“Hey, Sana, before you get mad, I really gotta tell you something,” Elias said quickly, trying to get it all out before she stopped him. Yousef took his eyes off the road for a moment, almost cautioning him about what he was about to say. Elias decided to start with the news about Vilde, “I think we just saw your friend.”

“What friend?”

“The ex-one. You know, Vilde.”

“Wait,” Sana asked. “I’m going to put you around speakerphone. Okay, what did you say?”

“We saw Vilde,” Elias repeated. “But that’s not even the biggest thing we found. God, I don’t know how we’re going to tell Even but—”

“Tell me what?” Elias heard a male say on the other end.

“Even?” Elias asked.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Even answered.

Elias moved the phone away from his face. He mouthed to his friends “It’s Even.”

“Don’t tell him,” Mikael replied quickly, leaning forward in his seat.

“No tell him,” Adam argued, pushing Mikael back against his seat. “He needs to know.”

Yousef took his eyes off of the road, turning to Elias, opening his mouth to weigh in on the debate. As he did this, he missed the light at the intersection turning from yellow to red. Elias never got to hear what Yousef was going to say. What happened after was all a blur. Mutta was yelling at Yousef to look out. Yousef jerked the steering wheel to avoid the inevitable impact from the truck speeding towards them from the cross lane. Then, their car spun out into the embankment bellow. The vehicle rolled once as it descended. It all happened so quick that Elias didn’t have time to process what was happening before the airbags engulfed him. Then, everything went black.

                


	6. Too Real

Chapter 6: Too Real

 

How are you supposed to be strong for everyone else when there is no one to be strong for you? It wasn’t as if the last few days hadn’t taken their toll on Sana too, but until today it hadn’t felt real. Real people didn’t just end up with missing friends. It was like a movie or some big game. When she’d been told what had happened by Noora, it hadn’t quite hit her. Everything felt hazy and dream-like, so it felt more like putting a puzzle together than a real crime. There had always been this sense of an end in sight. It was like there was this one piece of evidence that they would find that would make everything make sense. Isak and Jonas would knock on the door and congratulate them on figuring everything out. Things would be perfect. Everything would just… work. It was denial at it’s finest. Yet, denial tasted so much sweeter than the blood trickling down the inside of her cheeks from biting them so hard. If she released, she would scream.

What if she had pushed Isak to go to the conference with her?

He was the one who told her to go. In fact, he was the one who made her apply after she was rejected the previous year. He believed in her. _Best buds help each other out._ That’s what he would always tell her. She didn’t know how to help him now.

This was no longer a game. This was real. Too real. She knew just how real now, sitting in the hospital waiting room. The last time she had been in a place like this, had been when Noora thought she had been sexually assaulted by William’s brother. At the time, that seemed like the worst thing that had happened in her life, even though it wasn’t happening directly to her. She’d never really had to go to a hospital for anything serious. The closest she’d got was when Elias had broken his arm playing on a playground when he was nine. Even then he had been in and out. Two hours later they were back home with their mom making dinner and Elias was running around waving his cast around showing everyone how cool he thought it was.

The doctors had told her nothing. It wasn’t a good sign, or at least, that’s how she was taking it. The receptionist at the front desk told her that they would send someone over to talk with her, but only tell her about Elias because he was family. Her parents weren’t there yet so she was the only one who they could tell. No one else’s family had shown yet either. It was just her and her friends, who had been there at Mahdi’s Waffle Shop to hear the horrendous news.

Sana watched the doctors and nurses run through the emergency room. She’d been planning on becoming a doctor. She’d always like biology, chemistry, physics, and even psychology. Dead bodies had never scared her, so the thought of cadaver dissections hadn’t turned her off. Yet, in twenty minutes of being in a hospital, she was beginning to rethink her life goals. Things that had never bothered her before were making her nauseous. The sight of blood was making her feel faint.

Sana felt Noora’s hand squeeze hers. Maybe she wasn’t doing as good of job of appearing strong as she had thought.

_Can they all tell? What are they thinking? What was Elias thinking before he crashed? Is he okay? Where’s Yousef?_

Sana’s thoughts slipped to Yousef. He had to be okay. They had so much left to say to each other. She had to say she loved him. They had finally sorted out their feelings, after all these years.  _I never got to tell him I love him._

_Please Allah, look out for them all. Please let them be okay._

“Sana Bakkoush?”

Sana looked up to see a doctor standing in front of her. She blinked hard to fight back the tears that were waiting for her to let her guard down, so they could fall.

“This is her,” Noora said gently, motioning to Sana.

“Sana, is any of your family here?”

Sana shook her head. She didn’t trust herself to speak.

“Elias mentioned a brother.” Elias was awake. Or he had been. _He talked. This is good. Yeah. Good._

“He’s not here,” Noora answered for her again. For once, Sana was grateful to be spoken for.

“Should we call him? Do you have Even’s number?”

“Even?” Eva asked, sharing a confused look with Noora and Chris.

“Yes, that’s the name Elias gave us.”

Even, who Magnus and Mahdi had been trying to distract this whole time, looked over at the doctor from his seat across the isle. “That’s me.”

“You’re Even?” The doctor looked down at her paper and then back up at Even.

“Yes, but I’m not-”

Sana’s mind may have been moving slow, but she was putting the pieces together none-the-less. If Elias had asked for Even it must have been important. And if family was only allowed to see him… “Yeah. He’s our brother. Why?” Sana found her voice. There was something about the situation that made this all feel weird again. She mustered one of her best ‘try me’ looks when the doctor looked like they wanted to speak again. It was the kind of look she had perfected through years of prejudice. The same kind of look she’s given Vilde the first day she’d met her, where Vilde had asked if she was allowed to participate in Russ.

“Uh sorry,” the doctor said quickly. “Can you two come with me?”

Sana and Even stood. Even gave Sana a worried look that she brushed off. Back to being strong. If she kept on her face, maybe her stomach would stop turning to match.

The doctor lead Sana and Even down a hallway. They stopped before room 401. The doctor stood in front of the door with one hand on the handle.

“Before you both go in there to see Elias, you should know that he is very lucky. He’s stable and he’s been awake most of the time. We had to operate on his left leg and his right shoulder. We think he may have a concussion as well, so we are monitoring the situation. Keep that in mind when you’re asking him questions about the accident. Understood?”

Sana and Even nodded. The doctor opened the door for them. Inside, Elias was propped up on a hospital bed, leg up in a sling. There were stiches around his eye and his neck and part of his face were bruised. The doctor hadn’t mentioned that.

“Elias,” the words drifted breathlessly from Sana’s lips.

“Sana. Even,” Elias winced as he spoke.

“I’ll give you three a moment. I’ll be right outside if you need me,” the doctor said before excusing herself from the room.

“You’re okay,” Sana said. The first tear escaped her cheek.

“Don’t cry,” Elias replied, reaching for her. He took his sister’s hand.

Even stood close to the door. It was obvious he felt like he was intruding on some special moment between the pair.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Elias said after a moment. He looked past Sana to Even, “Both of you. There’s something important I need to tell you.”

“What is it?” Sana asked.

“When I called… I… there was a flash drive. It was in my hand. It was from Vilde.”

“Vilde? I know you told me you found her but what does she have to do with all of this.”

“Her shop. Or her boyfriend’s or whatever,” it was apparent on his face how hard it was for Elias to go through it. His brain was turning but he was sputtering. Sana wanted to tell him to stop but she also needed to know what he was going to say. “The flash drive is gone but… the car. Even, someone was in the car.”

“What car?” Even asked, walking closer to the hospital bed.

“Jonas’ car. There was someone else driving. A third man.”

“Who?” Sana asked.

Elias shook his head, wincing as he did so, “I don’t know. We couldn’t tell.”

“Their car wasn’t found where they called Even?”

“No.”

Sana looked over to Even. His face was neutral. He wanted them to believe he was okay. It was the same face she had been making all morning. The little relief that Elias was okay was withering to new panic.

“Where’s Yousef?” Elias asked after a moment of silence between the trio. “When the paramedics came, he wasn’t breathing. They took him first. Is he okay?”

Sana felt like she had just been punched in the stomach. When she’d seen Elias was okay, she had just hoped that meant they were all okay. Now, there was a possibility he wasn’t. _I have to find him. I have to tell him I love him._

“They won’t tell us about anyone else,” Even said, seeing Sana was at her breaking point.

“That’s what I thought,” Elias replied, deflated. “I had to say you were my brother.”

The doctor popped her head into the room,” Elias, your parents are in the waiting room. We can only have two visitors in the room at a time though.”

“We’ll go,” Even replied. “But we’ll be back.”

“I know it’s a lot to ask but can you find out if—”

Even nodded, “We’ll find out.” He put a hand on Sana’s shoulder. He led her to the door. In the hallway, Even pulled Sana aside. He didn’t say anything. He just looked at her with understanding eyes. That was all she needed.

Sana broke down and cried. At first it was little sniffles, then full on sobs. Once the tears started she couldn’t stop them. They just kept falling. Even hugged her, letting Sana collapse into him.

Sana let go when she was ready. She hadn’t cried for long long but, to her, she had felt like she had been crying forever. Initially, there was part of her that felt embarrassed. Then, she looked at Even’s face and she understood. This is how he had been feeling too. His eyes told her there was no shame in crying.

“Thanks,” Sana said, wiping eyeliner onto the back of her hands. She wiped her hand onto her black sleeve, “How are you feeling?”

“Numb,” Even answered honestly. “It’s a lot. I don’t think I have any tears left but I want to cry all the time. But I feel like I don’t deserve to cry. This is all my fault. In high school, maybe if I had just—”

Sana didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want Even to finish that sentence or any other self degrading thought that would slip from his lips. If he started, she would start crying again.

“No,” Sana stopped him, “this isn’t your fault. This isn’t anyone’s other than who did this. And we’re going to find out.”

“But what if it’s too late?”

As if to save Sana from answering, Adam came running down the hall, pushing Mikael in a wheel chair. He slowed on his heels as he saw Sana, almost dumping Mikael out. Adam looked far better than her brother had. He had a couple of scrapes and bruises but nothing serious. Mikael’s leg was in an intense looking brace and his opposite arm was wrapped in bandages.

“Sana!” Adam exclaimed.

“Even!” Mikael yelled at the same time.

“Have you seen your bro?” Adam asked. “We found everyone else but him. Is her okay?”

Even nodded, “Yeah, he’s a little banged up but he’s okay.”

“How are the other two?” Even asked.

Mikael shrugged, “Mutta is okay. He woke up a bit ago. Doctors say he has a concussion and they had to operate on his shoulder. And Yousef… he…”  Mikael looked to Adam.

“We don’t know,” Adam admitted softly. “He’s in the ICU still. We can’t see him. He took most of the impact. They had to resuscitate him on the way here.”

“He was dead?” Sana asked.

“But he’s not now,” Mikael said quickly. _Now._

“How did you get to see Elias anyway?” Mutta asked Even. “We thought only family could go in. I mean we’re lucky some of the doctors here are, I don’t want to say racist but… we just said we were all cousins and they didn’t question it, but you…”  

“Elias told them I was his brother,” Even admitted.

“And they bought that?”

“Family can look like whatever,” Even shrugged. He changed the subject, “But, he said there was a flash drive?”

“Fuck,” Mutta sighed, rubbing his temple, “yeah. I hate to be the one to tell you this but–”

“There was someone else in Jonas’ car,” Even replied, cutting him off.

“How did you know?”

“Elias.”

“It’s a good sign he’s able to remember it. Did he have the drive?”

“No.”

“I doubt it would still be there,” Mikael answered. “And if it is, well… I don’t think we’re getting the car back anytime soon.”

“What did Vilde have to do with all this?” Sana asked. That little fact had been playing in her mind since Elias said it. “Elias said there was a shop and she was there?”  
               “The flash drive was from Vilde’s store or whatever. Just past where they found the car. It was security footage,” Mutta explained. “It caught the car as it went by.”

“So, if we want to see it… do you think she still has it?”

Mikael nodded, wincing a little as he did so, “Yeah. I mean, unless she erased it or something. But I doubt she did that.”

“Where does she live?” Sana knew it was too soon to be on this. She didn’t have the energy to find Vilde today. She didn’t want to confront the past. Yet, all the things she wasn’t ready for or didn’t want to do made her anxious. She was sick of the sadness. She was sick of everyone around her feeling sorry for themselves. Including her. She had to do something.

“Maybe we should just tell the police,” Mutta said.

“Fuck that,” Sana replied, stone faced. “Give me the address.” She held out her phone to Mutta, already on a GPS map. There was no arguing with her. Her mind was made up. He took it and typed in the name of the bridal shop they had found Vilde’s fiancé at.

Sana took back her phone. She turned on her heel and walked down the hallway.

“Where are you going?” Even called after her.

“Keep up, if you want to see who’s in that car. We’re not going to sit around and do nothing for another second. We don’t have the time.”

***

“Ma’am, can I take your name for the report?”

“Vilde Lien Hellrud. That’s two L’s.”

 “Okay Vilde, you please repeat for me what you saw?”

“Okay, well, the car was driving in front of me. They ran a stop sign. I guess the driver wasn’t looking. It was too late for the other car to stop.”

“Did you know the boys in the car.”

“No.”

“Another witness said you were yelling their names.”

“I mean, I know them but not well. I hadn’t seen them in years before today.”

“Where were you heading.”

“I- uh… I was following them. I was coming back home to Oslo.”

“Why?”

“I have to help my friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's been so long. Life has been crazy and my new job has really gotten in the way of my writing. I want to see this through though. Thank you for all the messages and support both on here and on Tumblr. I hope that you will continue to follow the Muse. I can't wait to show you what I have in store. 
> 
> Also, on a side note, I'm looking for an editor to speed up the process of publishing chapters. If you would like this job, please send me a message on here or on the fic's official Tumblr blog. Thanks!


	7. Start Talking

**Ch 7: Start Talking**

 

“Turn left in 600 meters,” The GPS was the only one talking in the car. Sana was too focused on driving and Even didn’t really know what to say to her. At least, not for the first twenty minutes into their trip.

Sana had got Mutta to punch the name of the wedding shop they had visited into Google Maps and then she had walked straight for the nearest door. Even had hardly had time to think. She turned on her heel, on a mission. He had no choice but to follow her. She didn’t ask anyone else to come. Secretly, he was kind of glad it was just the two of them. His friends had been great, but it was all still a lot.

There was something comforting about sitting here in the car with Sana. They were actually about to find something out about what had happened to Isak and Jonas. It hadn’t been many days since the event, but it felt like an eternity. Every second was harder.

It was Linn who had got him out of bed that day, as surprising as it was. She had sat down and had an uncharacteristically long talk with him. Well, at first neither of them had done much talking. She’d brought a gaming console into the room and asked if he wanted to play a video game. He hadn’t. She’d shrugged and started to plug it in anyway. She sat there just playing. He’d watched and eventually joined in. An hour in, she made him laugh. It was such a small thing, but he hadn’t laughed in so long. It felt so good.

After Linn left, saying she was going to take a nap, Even decided to check his phone. At first it felt like a huge mistake. He was flooded with messages and emails. It was overwhelming. He threw the device to the other side of the bed. He laid back down and stared at the ceiling. Then, almost as a second thought, he turned his head back to his phone. It was a text from Magnus saying him and Mahdi were at Mahdi’s Waffle Hut and, if he felt like joining, they would love to see him. It took him two and a half hours before he decided to go. He showered for the first time since the police call. He brushed his hair and his teeth and put on a new shirt. Everything he did felt like a struggle, but he remembered what Isak had told him once. Take it minute by minute. And that’s what he was doing.  _Minute by Minute._

Isak didn’t need him to lay there and do nothing. He knew his boyfriend wouldn’t have judged, but Even was starting to feel worse about it with each passing minute. The situation was making him feel hopeless. He didn’t know what to do, so he did nothing. But, doing nothing made him feel equally as hopeless and he knew he had to do something. But that something led to a deeper realization of having no fucking clue. It was a vicious cycle.

Every time he had hope, it was dashed. He was supposed to be having the best premier of his life. Then, his boyfriend and one of his best friends got kidnapped. Today when Elias called, it seemed like they were going to get somewhere. Then the car crash happened. Now, they had a lead and he was just waiting for the world to implode.

Neither Even nor Sana had really thought up much of a game plan. It was dark and getting close to midnight. They were both heading to the shop that Mutta and Mikael had pointed them to but Even didn’t know what they would do when they got there. No one would be there at this time. If he knew Sana, she would wait until someone showed up. She wasn’t giving up now. He wondered how seeing Vilde would feel for Sana.

Even had been there the night when Vilde made the decision that she wasn’t going to open up to anyone. Maybe that was a bad way of putting it. She had been, for lack of a better analogy, drowning. It started with drinking. At least, that’s the first thing he saw. Then she cheated on Magnus. He was amazed how Magnus had been more worried about her than angry. Even been the one in Vilde’s situation before when he had cheated on Sonja. Therefore, he couldn’t really judge. That’s why he’d stayed out of it mostly. Maybe he should have said something. Maybe he still should. In the middle of a missing person search didn’t really seem like the right time.

The darkness helped them spot the police lights from far a kilometer off. Sana slowed the car. This was where it had happened. He was a little surprised they were still there. Clean up didn’t usually take that long… unless there was more to it.

Sana’s facial expression was neutral, but her eyes told a different story. He didn’t want to see her cry again, but he always wanted her to let it all out. It was so hard watching her break. She reminded Even of himself in some ways. That’s how he could tell how badly this was all affecting her.

Sana stopped the car right on the side of the road. She walked past the line of cars that were waiting to get through the single lane of alternating traffic, towards the police tape. Even followed her silently. Sana tried to duck under the caution tape, but a policeman walked over to her.

 “Miss, we’re going to have to ask you to step back.”

“That car,” Sana said, “had my brother and my friends in it.”

“I’m very sorry, Miss. This is an active investigation.”

“I need to see it,” Sana said, a bit more forceful this time.

“I can’t let you through.”

“Let me see the car!”

Even gently put a hand on Sana’s shoulder. He scanned the scene behind the tape as he did so. That’s when he saw the blonde talking with the police officer. She nodded as the officer left, leaving her alone just meters away.

“Vilde?” Even called out. The girl turned her head. It really was her. 

The policeman and Sana, who’s glaring eyes hadn’t left the officer, both looked over to the girl. She paled, looking down at the ground after a quick glance over to them.

“Do you know her?” The officer asked.

“Yes,” Even replied. “Look, I know we can’t go over there but can you get her over here? Please?”

The officer hesitated. He looked to Sana who was staring at Vilde as if she was unsure if the blonde was real or not. It did all seem like a bizarre coincidence.

“Sure,” the officer relented. He walked over to the girl. Even couldn’t hear what he was saying to her. Whatever it was, it got her over to them.

Vilde didn’t say anything when she walked over to them. She didn’t even look at Even and Sana. Nothing should have surprised Even at this point but there was still something shocking about it. He knew she was out there and knew that the boys had seen her today, but it did feel something like meeting a ghost. She looked the same, mostly. Her hair was a bit shorter, maybe. She had gained a few pounds, but she looked healthier. Even so, she didn’t look happier. Maybe it was just the circumstance though. He knew not to judge.

Sana blinked at her in disbelief, “The fuck, Vilde!” Okay not what he had expected the first words out of Sana’s mouth to be. She sounded angry. The words just kept spilling from Sana’s mouth. It was as if all she wanted to say had broken free of the dam welling them up, “After all these years, this is where we find you. At the crash site of my brother and all his friends. You just so happened to be there? And apparently you have all this information about Isak and Jonas, who, newsflash, used to be your friends, and you still don’t come home!” The officer from before and one of his colleagues were watching from afar, as if unsure if they should intervene.

“Sana,” Even said quietly, noticing Vilde’s face faulter.

She brushed Even off, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

That’s when Vilde started to cry.

 

***

 

This coffee shop made the worst coffee that Even had ever tasted. Despite that, he kept drinking it because he hadn’t had any caffeine in days. It was warm at least. He kind of liked the way it burned his tongue and left a bitter taste in his mouth. It compensated for the metaphorical bitter taste this Vilde situation was leaving him with.

Vilde had driven her car here and Sana had followed. He wondered why she picked this place. Surely there had to be a better café somewhere in this town.

“Are you going to talk, or do I have to?” Sana asked Vilde after awhile of suffocating silence. At first it had been uncomfortable but Even was starting to get used to it. It was like being resigned to something hurting so much so that you just accept it.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Vilde admitted.

“Start with why you were there,” Sana said.

“I was actually coming to find you. Well, all of you. When Elias came to see me… they told me that Isak and Jonas were missing-”

“You hadn’t heard before?”

“No. I really hadn’t.”

It looked as if Sana didn’t believe her.

“I promise. I was really shocked. And when the boys left, I decided to go after them.”

“So, you saw everything that happened?” Even asked.

“I was a couple cars behind but yeah. I saw it. I got out of my car and tried to help. I went to get Elias out, but he said he was okay and to look after Yousef. He was bleeding and the door was jammed. I stayed with them and this other lady called for an ambulance.”

“How did it happen?” Sana asked.

“They ran a stop sign. It was weird. Like they weren’t paying attention.”

“Are you sure?”

“That’s what it looked like, yes. Why?” Even had been wondering the same thing. He felt kind of stupid for thinking it. With everything happening it just seemed like another conspiracy. Someone sent to hurt everyone he loved. He knew he’d always had an overactive imagination. It’s what made him a great filmmaker. It wasn’t good for situations like this.

Sana shrugged. She changed the subject, as cold as before, “Elias mentioned a fiancé.”

“He’s not,” Vilde replied a little too quickly. Sana raised an eyebrow. Vilde was just as quick to justify, “I mean he wants to be, but I don’t…” she got quieter, trailing off, “want to.”

“Is that why you moved here? For him?”

“No. But I did meet him when I got here. I missed my bus and got stranded. He ran a little B&B and let me stay for free.” Sana raised an eyebrow, prompting Vilde’s face to go red and for her to continue even quicker, “But not like that. He wasn’t looking for anything. Then he told me he really wanted to own a bigger business.”

“You opened a wedding dress shop,” Sana finished for her.

“Elias told you all that?”

“It still doesn’t explain anything.”

“I like pretty things and he wanted to give me a place to express that.”

“Not about that,” Sana said. “Why did you leave. Why did you just up and go?”

“I needed a change,” Vilde said. Even could tell that wasn’t completely true.

“Did you stop drinking?”

“Yes. Leaving was good for me.” It was obvious she wanted to change the subject. As she was talking, she reached into her purse and took something small and white out. She slid it across the table.

“After they took Elias on a stretcher, I found this,” Vilde said. It was the flash drive. This was what the boys had been talking about. This was the only clue they had about Isak. It wasn’t lost. It was right in front of Even. He took it in his hand.

“I’m really sorry about what happened. I want to help.”

“I’m getting more coffee,” Sana muttered. “Even, do you want anything?” She was purposely excluding Vilde. He knew Sana was hurting. Today was too much for all of them. She just had her brother and his friends get into a traumatic accident. He also knew she had feelings for Yousef that weren’t resolved and finding out she may never get to say them… at least Isak knew he loved him. Isak probably knew he was looking. He knew his love had hope, which was the only thing keeping him going right now.

When Sana left, Even turned to Vilde who was staring at her cup of tea which was still full.

“Vilde, are you okay?” Even asked quietly.

“Fine,” it came out higher than Vilde had intended. He could tell by her facial recoil.

“Are you in any danger?”

“What danger?”

“When you parked, I saw the bags in the back of your car. Where are you going?”

“I told you, I was coming to see you guys. I want to help.”

“You packed quick.” It wasn’t accusatory. Just an observation. If she had followed behind the boys she would have had to leave fairly soon after. “Does your boyfriend know you’re gone?”

Vilde shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes again. He didn’t want to see her cry. It had taken a long time to get her to stop at the crash site. Officers had come over to check she was okay. That’s when they had decided it was best to go somewhere more private.  

Even hesitated, “Did he… your boyfriend… hurt you?”

Vilde shook her head more adamantly. She sniffled as the tears came to fruition.

Sana came back to the table. Her stone face crumbled. Her Vilde instincts were kicking back in. There was a sympathy behind her eyes that Even could only attribute to a place of love. Even after being angry for years, Sana still loved Vilde as fiercely as the rest of her friends. Which explained the same ferocity in her anger.

“Even, what did you say?” Sana asked.

“I didn’t - I’m sorry.”

Sana slid into the booth beside Vilde. Next thing Even knew, Vilde was crying into Sana and she had her arms around the other girl.

“I’m sorry,” Vilde whimpered.

Sana didn’t reply, she ran a hand over Vilde’s hair.

They sat like that for a few minutes. Even felt on the outside of the moment but not uncomfortable. It was like watching a movie. While it wasn’t happening to him, it felt like something good had happened and a flicker of their happiness was being shared.

Vilde straightened, wiping her eyes. She looked at Even and Sana, embarrassed by her outburst. Voice hoarse from crying she asked, “Can you please take me home? Take me back to Oslo.”

 

***

 

“What do you mean they went somewhere, Magnus?” Noora shouted in the waiting room. They had been sitting there for hours.

Magnus threw his arms up, “I don’t know!”

“Sana isn’t answering any of our messages,” Chris reported.

“We’re already dealing with two missing people!” Mahdi said.

Mikael and Adam walked over to the group. “What’s with the shouting?” Mikael asked from his seat in the wheelchair.

“Thank God you two are okay,” Eva said when she saw them. “How is everyone?”

“Depends on who you ask,” Adam replied. “Doctors say Elias is fine but he’s being a little bitch about his leg. He keeps pressing the assistance button. Probably because his doctor is hot.”

“Mutta is okay too,” Mikael said. “He’s already complaining about having to stay in bed.”

“And Yousef?” Noora asked.

“We don’t know,” Adam replied. “He was still in the ICU last we heard.”

“They got him breathing when they took him though,” Mikael said quietly.

Everyone in the room got silent.

“We were just going to find a quiet place to go pray for them,” Adam said after awhile. “I know you aren’t all religious but…”

“We need to find Sana and Even first,” Noora said.

“Maybe they went to do that too?” Chris suggested.

“Then why wouldn’t they tell Magnus that’s where they were going?” Eva asked.

“I mean, it would explain the not answering,” Mahdi said.

Everyone started talking over each other with their new theories as to where their friends went.

“Maybe they went to go get answers,” a female’s voice boomed through the crowd. They turned to see Sana standing there. Her arms were crossed and her lips were curled into a slight smirk.

“What answers?” Eva asked, voicing everyone’s confusion.

“Where’s Even?” Magnus asked in unison.

“I’m right here,” Even said, hurrying over from the sliding glass doors at the entrance. “And we brought someone.”

Vilde, staying half hidden behind Even, walked into the room. She was rolling her suitcase behind her.

“What the fuck?” Eva exclaimed a little too loudly.

“Vilde?” Chris was just as stunned. From Noora’s face they could tell she felt the same. No one knew exactly what to do. Mahdi had his hand on Magnus’s shoulder to steady him. Magnus looked as if he had just seen a ghost.

“Where the hell have you been?” Noora asked.

Vilde and Magnus met eyes. The look they shared was confirmation he knew exactly what she wasn’t saying. He’d known for the last three years. Now, Vilde was ready to face her own secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Life has been a bit crazy for me. More to come shortly though. For more content visit skamthemuse.tumblr.com where the story continues outside of these chapters. I answer questions, upload story specific videos, character texts, photos, and sometimes even chapters before they appear here! 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around and reading The Muse!


	8. A Little Bit of Truth

**_3 Years Earlier_ **

 

This party was beginning to feel like a bad idea for Vilde. Okay, it wasn't just this party, it was all of Russ. There! She admitted it, even if only in her head.

Vilde took another swig of wine from the bottle. It was almost empty now. She was definitely feeling it. She'd been feeling it for the last week. She'd been pre-gaming Russ two months before the actual date. She had found any available party. Any excuse to drink. Something to validate the fact she needed to get drunk. She needed to stop the hurt. She needed to stop the thoughts that she couldn't tell anyone.

A month before the drinking started, she and her mom had been evicted. Her mom's alcoholism and depression had become way too much. She had tried to get a job but the money she brought in while she wasn't going to classes couldn't keep up. She refused to give up school. She only had a few months left and she had been working for four years towards Russ. She thought that would make it all better. It would be the end of a shitty era.

After they'd been evicted, her mom refused to leave. The cops had come. Her mom wasn't a violent person, but she'd thrown a bottle at one of the officers who tried to forcibly remove her. That was the first of three times she saw her mom get arrested. The second time was when she tried to steal food from a corner store. The third, her mom tried to take money from a church collection. They had bounced from place to place for a bit. They'd even done a stint in a women's shelter. Vilde had been staying with Magnus' family a month ago. She felt like she was becoming a burden there when her dad called.

Vilde's dad wasn't a good guy. That's about all she knew about him. Her only memories were of him yelling at her mom as she hid in her bedroom closet. Sometimes there would be banging. Then the door would slam and he would leave. As soon as he was gone, her mom would reach for the bottle. She never stopped reaching after he left.

This time, her dad was offering her a place to stay. It was across town in a bit of a rougher area. Magnus had asked her a hundred times if she was going to be okay. She had promised him yes.

"It's only a few months. Then we can get our own place, okay?" Vilde would say. She no longer had plans of studying after high school. She would work. Then one day she’d just be a housewife. She couldn't afford to do more.

Living with her dad was about the same as when he wasn't there. He was never around. He was a bouncer at a local strip club which was open every day of the week. Not glamorous but at least he paid the bills. Him not being home was a blessing and a curse. It meant she was alone a lot. Alone in a place she didn’t want to be alone in. That's how it started.

She didn't want to go out more than she had to. She stopped telling friends she would meet them in the afternoon if it meant she would get home late. She didn’t want to walk back from the bus down the streets at night. She kept her friends away from the area and spent less time with Magnus, even though he offered to walk her to and from her door. She was embarrassed. He didn't need to see her like this.

To stop the fear, she took up drinking. She was well aware of the dangers but once she started, it was hard not to stop. One night there was something in her head that said it had helped her mom, but she wouldn’t let it get as far as her. She knew the dangers. She could quit anytime. Right? Her dad didn't keep much alcohol in the house but there was a liquor store across the street that she quickly found never carded. She became a regular.

None of her friends realized at first. The first person who noticed, well, she wouldn't even consider them a friend. It was Sara who saw her pull a flask outside of her backpack in the girls’ washroom. She hadn't said anything until she noticed the smell of vodka on her breath two weeks later in Norwegian class.

Vilde couldn't really remember what had happened but it had gone from concern to a shouting match to a heart to heart. As it turned out, Sara knew the neighbourhood she was living in. Sara admitted that her family used to live there when she was little. Back when Sara's dad was addicted to prescription painkillers and her mom was going to school to be a lawyer. Her dad had eventually straightened his life out after years of rehab and her mom's persistence. She knew what it was like to be a child of addiction. She knew what Vilde was going through.

It didn't stop Vilde from drinking but now she had a friend who got it. Sara would brave the rough streets to come see her when she was at her lowest, when she didn't want anyone else to find her like that. Sara held her hair up more than once during nights when Vilde's body couldn't take it anymore.

They got close. Too close because, despite how much she drank, thoughts that Vilde had long tried to suppress bubbled and floated to the top of her mind.

Sara was beautiful. Everyone in school knew it. There was something captivating about her. The curve of her cheeks when she laughed, the sparkle in her eyes when she was interested in what you were saying... all of it was exciting Vilde in ways she didn't understand.

That was when things got worse.

It was two weeks before Russ when Sara told Vilde she had met this guy on one of the other buses a couple weeks before. He had just asked her out.

"This time, this one won't be gay," Sara joked.

Vilde had smiled and forced a laugh. Her heart felt as if someone had just crushed it. She shouldn't have felt anything but happy for Sara. She had Magnus and he made her feel happy. He was supposed to be her everything.

Magnus was her best friend, next to the girls. That was certain. She needed him more than she could verbalize. And they had sex all the time. That's how love was supposed to be... right?

She was beginning to question it more and more as Russ started. Magnus, Jonas, Isak and Mahdi wanted to join them. Sana had vetoed them being full time members of Los Losers because of how small the van was but she told them they could tag along. Magnus had held her the same way he always had but it felt different. Despite the fact she wasn't enjoying the intimacy as much as she had convinced herself she had before, she was pushing harder. She was all over Magnus and it was beginning to piss her friends off. Even Magnus was starting to say no. To her, his rejection was a sign that everyone knew her secret.

Now, at the last party of Russ she was starting to have double vision . She was sitting on someone's bus, she couldn't remember who, next to Eva. Jonas was on Eva's other side.

Eva was a Russ superstar. She had the most knots out of any of their friends. She seemed up for anything with enough alcohol enticing her. For once, Jonas wasn't stopping her. He was more cautious with his words this time in their relationship and she didn't really look for his approval. They were the happiest anyone had ever seen them. It made Vilde jealous.

Eva whispered something to Jonas that Vilde couldn't make out. He took a sip of his beer and shrugged.

"Go for it," Jonas laughed. "I'm going to find Mahdi."

Eva turned to Vilde when Jonas was gone. She was just as drunk as her. The difference was that Eva was happy about it.

"So," Eva started leaning into Vilde, "for old time sake because we're graduating, make out with me?"

Eva put a hand on Vilde's cheek. They had done it loads of times before at parties, but that had pretty much stopped when Eva got back together with Jonas.

"The feelings you have when making out with a friend don't mean anything."

She wanted to say no but more than anything she also wanted to say yes. Her breath hitched. All she could manage was a small nod.

Eva tasted like beer. Her lips were soft though. Vilde found herself getting lost in the smell of Eva’s dry shampoo and her nails rested gently against the side of Vilde's face. God it felt good.

"Whoo!"

"So hot!"

Vilde broke the kiss and turned to see two boys calling out to them. They had been watching the whole time. It made her feel dirty. She needed to feel clean again.

Vilde stood up quick. She had to steady herself against the back of the seat. She didn't say anything. She turned and ran.

"Vilde!" Eva called after her, obviously concerned.

Jonas and Mahdi passed her on the way out. Jonas joined Eva and asked, "Is she okay?"

"Maybe we should find Magnus," Eva said to her boyfriend.

Vilde was already out the door.

***

Vilde sat on the edge of a public fountain, just outside of where all the buses were parked. She had already thrown up in the bushes a few feet away. Now, she was washing her face in the fountain water. Her mascara ran down her cheeks as the fountain water mixed with tears.

"Vilde?" She heard a voice call out in the dark.

She didn't want anyone to see her like this. "I'm fine," she managed to say in her best 'normal' voice.

"I know you're not," Sara stepped into the dim glow cast by a flickering streetlight above.

Sara walked over and sat down beside Vilde. She put a hand on Vilde's knee, "Where did you guys park your bus? Let's go get you cleaned up."

***

Sara had swung by her own bus and found her makeup kit. Vilde wished she could afford the brands Sara had in her bag. One was worth more than Vilde's whole kit combined.

"Close your eyes," Sara instructed. Vilde did as she was told. Sara brushed a light pink across Vilde's eyelids. Vilde had always liked getting her makeup done, and Sara knew that. It was something Sara had done many nights to calm her down.

"I know it's the last night, but you need to take it slow," Sara said. "You shouldn't even be drinking."

"Everyone is," Vilde mumbled.

Sara put the brush down, she wiped away the excess powder under Vilde's eyes with her thumb. "Not to be the mom friend but if everyone jumped off a bridge..."

"Maybe for a knot."

Sara shoved Vilde playfully and Vilde pushed back. It became a bit of a pillow fight before they both landed on their backs on the bed.

When their laughing had subsided, Vilde asked, "How are things with you and your new boyfriend."

"We broke up."

"Already?"

"Yeah. He seemed to like Ingrid better."

"Who even likes Ingrid better?"

Sara made an O with her mouth, laughing as Vilde tried to backtrack, "That was so mean. Sorry!" Sara laughed harder, which made Vilde laugh.

Vilde didn't know who made the first move from there. Sara didn't taste like beer like Eva did, but instead like strawberries and lemonade coolers. It was so nice. She was soft too, from her skin to the way she kissed.

She felt Sara's hand rest on her check. She hesitated and Sara pulled back, "Is this... okay?"

Vilde nodded. She sat up, "Are you okay too?"

Sara smiled and sat up beside Vilde, "It's nice."

Nice was a good word to describe it. Especially the second time they kissed.

It was all nice up until they heard the door slide open and found Magnus and Isak staring in at them.

Vilde and Sara shot apart but it was already too late. Vilde could see the hurt in Magnus' puppy eyes. He turned and walked briskly away.

"Magnus," Isak called after him but he didn't move from the door. He turned back to Vilde.

"Vilde?" He asked gently. Vilde got up and pushed her way past to the door. She tripped on the way out and Isak caught her.

"Let me go," she said, trying to get away from Isak.

"Hey, no way am I letting you go anywhere like this." He had been through it before, but that wasn't what was registering in Vilde's mind. He was one of Magnus' best friends. He was going to tell anyone.

Isak looked to Sara for help but Sara looked just as mortified as Vilde.

"I've got to go back to the Pepsi Max bus," Sara said, quickly retreating.

Now it was just Isak and Vilde. With his hand that wasn't holding Vilde up, he called the one person he knew could help someone in a situation like this.

"Hey Eskild,” Isak said into the phone. He was balancing it between his shoulder and ear, while Vilde was is his arms. He listened as Eskild started on the other end, “Can you- No! Yes there's a good reason I'm calling you at 3am. Even's okay. He's at home. Yeah Noora is fine too. All of us are fine! Actually no. Wait. Vilde's not. That’s why I’m calling. Can you come get her and can she stay with you tonight? I've got to deal with Magnus. Look I'll tell you about it when you get here."

It was sometime during that conversation when she passed out.

***

From that moment forward, Vilde had began cutting ties. Sara pretended like the night didn't happen. Magnus kept trying to get her to talk about it and "fix" their relationship, but she couldn't keep doing it anymore. The girls kept asking what had happened and she wasn't ready to tell. It was a mess she wasn't prepared to face. So as soon as the final bell tolled to signal the end of her last school year, she was gone. She hadn’t talked to anyone… well, almost anyone.

Now, three years from that day, she was back in front of them all. She still wasn't sure she was ready to answer all their questions. She had lived another lie for years and now, was this just the same old story playing out? She couldn't let it be.

"Okay ask me anything," Vilde said prepared for the onslaught to hate and anger.

"Are you ready for that?" Magnus asked. His voice was so gentle. She'd missed that.

"No," Vilde admitted, "but I need to be honest. So Magnus, ask me your question. The one I know you've wanted to know since..."

Magnus shook his head.

"Let them know."

"Why did you cheat on me with Sara?"

It was the first time that Vilde said it aloud. It was the same reason she couldn't marry her boyfriend: "I like girls."

Eva and Noora exchanged a confused look. Eva laughed lightly. Sana was the one to say what everyone was thinking, "Is that all?"

"Come here you drama queen," Chris held out her arms. Vilde felt herself breathe a sigh of relief, letting go of the breath she had been holding for years. All she felt was love. All her friends were holding her tightly, as if afraid to let her go again.

She heard Magnus whisper in her ear, "I forgive you."

Who would have thought it would take a missing persons case to bring her back to the people who loved her most.

One girl found... two boys still missing. And the girl in the arms of her friends had another secret she was hiding. One that she wasn’t ready to tell. Vilde feared that she was the last person to see Isak and Jonas before Isak had sent Even that haunting call. But if they knew that, would they still forgive her?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience with this chapter! More on the way soon. 
> 
> A special thanks to twoenns on Tumblr for being my editor! I really appreciate it! 
> 
> Check out skamthemuse.tumblr.com for the trailer for the next part of the fic, text messages and other case evidence!


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